Between Faith and Fear Read online

  “Yes, we’ll definitely talk, but I’m getting DJ.”

  He gave her a shake. “Don’t think you’re safe just because it’s me.”

  Her jaw dropped in disbelief. He sure felt real. Looked real. Even smelled real... but this was definitely not the Derek she knew.

  “You may have lost touch with who you are,” she hissed, “but I’m a mother now. Rena Hellberg is a convicted killer. How can you expect me to just accept that she won’t hurt him?” She jerked out of his hold. “Better yet, how can you possibly be with her? She killed you!”

  His eyebrows rose and he looked down at himself sarcastically.

  “You know what I mean!” she fumed and attempted to plow through him once again.

  This time, Derek stopped her with a threat she couldn’t ignore. “Make another move toward those stairs and you won’t see that kid at all.”

  And with those words, the full, harsh reality came crashing down on her at once. She hugged her arms and moved to the broken windowpanes for some much needed fresh air. She chose a jagged hole, put her nose through it and took a long, cleansing pull.

  “You bastard.” When he didn’t respond, she spoke again. “We’ve been mourning you for years and you’ve been alive, hiding from us this whole time. Morphing into this... thing you’ve become.” He still didn’t answer. Not even a single defense. Fresh tears began to work their way to the surface, but they were no longer tears of joy. They were tears of betrayal. “Just say what you wanted to say so I can get back to my son.”

  “It wasn’t my intention to hurt you,” he said tightly.

  “Really?” She pushed out a watery laugh. “Now that I can put a face beneath that black hood, I have to process what you’ve done all over again. You helped break Rena out of that psych ward. You drugged me. You kidnapped us and brought us to this hell hole of a ruin.” Her hand slipped from the window frame and she turned toward him with disgust. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were never paralyzed at all.”

  “I was.”

  “I know it! You were broken from head-to-toe! We didn’t think you’d ever walk again! Now, you’re lurking behind bushes with Rena!”

  His look was uneasy. “I’ve only been back a few hours. I haven’t had time to lurk.”

  Was that supposed to make things better? “So,” she said tightly, “not only did you choose to stay away, you never even bothered to check up on your family? On Danny? Just to make sure they’re all okay?” She sensed him soften at the sound of his baby sister’s name, but he still didn’t ask about her. Why? “She’s fine, by the way. Married your worst enemy, you know, the guy you swore you’d kill if he ever laid a hand on her?”

  “She married Cahill?”

  Her smile was mean. “Not only does she bear the name, I’m pretty sure Austin puts his hands on her on a regular, routine basis.”

  “Enough, Mel,” Derek growled. “We set our differences aside at the hospital. I’m fine with it.”

  “You don’t look fine with it.”

  Then he exploded. “It wasn’t up to me, okay?”

  She produced a sound of incredulity. “But that’s what I don’t get! You are obviously in complete control!”

  He held out his hands to indicate she lower her voice. “Not quite, but I’m doing my best.”

  “Oh, no you don’t.” She balled her fists as she began to pace the rickety aisle. “Don’t try to calm me, Derek. After what you’ve put me through, the pain I’ve endured since you died, I deserve answers!”

  “Oh, really?” Now he was releasing some fury of his own. “You were that torn up, were you?”

  “I was destroyed!”

  “So destroyed you fell directly into bed with Mac.”

  She stopped, gaped at him. “Excuse me?”

  “Come on, your kid has got to be, what… almost fifteen months?”

  How would he know that? Then, suddenly, she understood. “So, you’ve done the math.”

  “Something I’ve always been pretty good at,” he said caustically.

  Only he’d left himself out of the equation. Melanie blinked in the darkness as he continued.

  “I saw you two by your car last night, I’m not an idiot. He has ‘daddy’ written all over him.”

  It was almost laughable, but she bit her lower lip and tried to decide where to go from there. “So, you have been lurking.”

  Derek threw up his hands. “Okay, one time.”

  “Just long enough to drug. Kidnap. Terrify. Imprison. And threaten me and DJ.” She counted off his crimes with her fingers. “You risk our health by stuffing us in an old, moldy, bug-infested basement with nothing but a dirty mattress and a LED lamp to keep us comfortable.” He opened his mouth but she wasn’t finished. “And to top it off, you spring this gem of a resurrection on me while Rena Hellbitch plays Mary Poppins to my child. So excuse me if I don’t wither with guilt under your grade-school accusation that I somehow cheated on you after your so-called death!”

  So, why did she feel like bursting into a fresh wave of tears?

  He stood silent for a long while as they stared each other down. Finally, he moved forward until she was close enough to touch. “I never wanted to drag you into this, Mel,” he rasped. “If I had my way, everyone would go on thinking I’m dead. But my options ran out and we’re stuck until I can buy us more of them. I don’t like it any more than you, especially with a kid in the picture, but I can guarantee things will go a hell of a lot smoother if you trust me.”

  Trust him. Someone who commanded obedience by using threats and heartless declarations? Now, that would make her quite the fool, wouldn’t it? And Melanie Parker was no longer a fool. She thought she knew him. She used to trust him. The man who once embodied all that was good in her life was now holding her prisoner, standing before her a dark, haunting figure with a criminal mind and vacant brown eyes to match.

  It was almost a whisper. “I’ll never trust you again.”

  Derek’s mouth formed into a hard line. “Then do what you’re good at and cower on the sidelines.”

  With all the strength she could muster, she raised her palm and cracked it hard across his cheek.

  * * *

  He’d seen it coming. Knew he deserved it. The raw hurt in her eyes crushed him, but he refused to soothe it because she needed to be scared. Melanie was a stronger woman than she used to be, but he required more than her strength. He required her cooperation. It had taken weeks of punishment, pain and torture for him to accept the life he’d been forced into, but Melanie wouldn’t be so lucky. If they were caught, she’d never be given an option… only a slow, painful way to die.

  “What happened to you?” she breathed, anger outlining every word.

  He rubbed a strand of her glossy blond hair between calloused fingers. Somehow he had to re-gain his bearings. Since first laying eyes on her at her apartment building, he’d begun to feel like his old self again. It was something he couldn’t allow. The answer came in a hoarse whisper. “The end.”

  Her breath hitched. “The end of what?”

  “The man you knew.”

  Chapter 5

  Derek heard Rena coming before Chewie alerted him to the fact. She was good, but there was room for improvement. He tore a chunk from his sandwich, tossed it toward the dog then took a bite of his own.

  “If you’re rubbing one out, I want to watch.”

  Great. She was a comedian now. “Enough with the penis jokes, Rena,” he said through a mouthful of food.

  The woman stood tall as her slender form relaxed against the porch column opposite him. “I’m just curious to see if you still have one.”

  He swallowed between bites. “Mel wasn’t so bad. Handled it pretty well, considering.”

  “That’s not what I mean.”

  Despite the grim topic, the corner of his mouth turned up as he offered his last bite to the canine waiting patiently at his feet. “All systems are functioning normally as long as I’m stable.”
/>   Rena’s slow exhale turned into a laugh. “Which won’t be for long once the withdrawals start.”

  It was something he was seriously beginning to dread. He’d been treated to a brutal taste of it when he’d tested his boundaries once. “Guess we’ll find out soon if things don’t go according to plan.”

  An uneasy silence stretched between them. Realizing the food-fest was over, Chewie dropped to his belly with a series of satisfied licks. The continuous whir of nocturnal insects flooded the sultry night air from all directions.

  “Are you going to tell her about it?” Rena asked smoothly.

  He shook his head. “No reason to.”

  Rena turned her face toward the quick breeze that set her mid-length, glossy black hair into motion and winced a little. Her hand found the base of her skull. “You’re quite a guy, Bennett. I sure hope she’s worth it.”

  Melanie wasn’t exactly a subject he wanted to discuss with the woman who’d warned him not to take her in the first place. But he just couldn’t sit by and let her get hurt. She used to love him not too long ago.

  “What about you,” he said, regarding Rena through the corner of his eye. “Are you worth it?”

  Rena barked out a forlorn laugh. “Let’s hope so.”

  “That doesn’t fill me with a whole lot of confidence.”

  “As long as I’m me,” she said, placing a hand to her chest for heartfelt emphasis, “I’ll come through for us both.”

  Chewie’s bushy tail thumped when Derek lowered himself to the steps beside him. They bonded for a moment, man and dog, while the woman watched from above. “Even if this works, there are no guarantees,” Derek hypothesized while giving the canine’s ears a good scratch. “But if I fail, we’re both categorically fucked.”

  “You won’t.”

  Annoyance tightened his voice. “My odds are better if I’m armed with the right information.”

  For a brief moment, Rena appeared to consider her options. “Are you sure you’ve never heard about a woman named Elsa? Or seen her, maybe?” She held her hand level with her nose. “Yay tall with brown hair and light-blue eyes?”

  That again? “I’m telling you, I don’t know who the hell you’re talking about.”

  She nodded thoughtfully. “Then, I think I’ll hang on to my high card a while longer.”

  Derek wasn’t surprised. Who could blame her? Rena had been let down too many times. “Okay, then. Be ready to move as soon as my contact gets here. When we have the car, we’ll make it fast and clean. No mistakes. Once those bastards figure out what I’m doing, the shit will hit the fan and that high card will be our only umbrella.”

  Rena nodded. “Got it. And while we’re doing all this, your girlfriend and that innocent little baby get left here in hotel hell until it’s over.”

  “They’re safe here.”

  “But what if we don’t come back?”

  He thought about it for a moment, checked his watch. Time was approaching the three o’clock hour. “I’ll leave my contact to watch out for her. But, Rena?”

  “Yes?” said sweetly.

  “Talk like that just may get you left here, too.”

  A sound of disgust accompanied a derogatory look. “Don’t worry, I won’t abandon you. I owe you too much.”

  Derek gave her a slight nod. “I won’t abandon you either, Rena. This will work better if you trust that.”

  Her sapphire eyes regarded him thoughtfully. “I trust you.” Then she lifted off the porch column, turned and headed back for the dark confines of the church. “It’s the other ghosts I’m worried about.”

  ____________

  Melanie lay on the mattress, wide-eyed and thoughtful. She had spread the pink blanket beneath her sleeping son who lay curled within her protective embrace. Rena had replaced the broken lantern with one that offered even less light, but it was just enough to make visible the basic structure of DJ’s angelic face.

  A thick set of curved lashes rested on top of flawless, ceramic-like skin. Squished between a pair of bulbous cheeks was a tender little mouth, open in sleep. His heather-blue eyes were hers. So were the soft blond curls and delicate eyebrows. But Derek Junior had undoubtedly inherited his father’s ears, mouth and chin. The Bennetts were always raving about it, especially Mary. Derek’s mother would break out the baby pictures of her deceased son and lament over the similarities with a box of tissues nearby.

  See, the nose is the same, too… well, before Austin broke it...

  Melanie had always valued those moments with the Bennett family, especially on Derek’s birthday when the entire clan would join in and celebrate the life of a lost son, father, brother, uncle, and friend. Now, the thought of it made her ill. After years of holding him at hero status, it was hard not to lie there and hate him. The raw disrespect he’d shown to those who had loved and cherished him astounded her. It was so unlike him. Nothing made sense and the questions kept coming.

  Why had he left?

  How did he heal from such devastating injuries?

  Where had he been?

  Why didn’t he call?

  Why were they here?

  What other crimes had he committed besides kidnapping, aiding in a prison escape, harboring a dangerous fugitive and, well… being an all-around heartless asshole?

  Why didn’t I tell him DJ is his?

  Though she’d answered that question countless times, it continued to arise. Surely not from guilt… Derek had all but threatened DJ. Viewed him as an inconvenience. He had no right or desire to be a father. Besides, he seemed all too eager to pair her with Mac.

  Let him think it. DJ had been born two weeks late since her body refused to give him up on its own, so it was plausible that he was conceived post-Derek. And she loved Mac. Once they’d gotten to know each other, they’d become close friends, then roomies, then business partners. They saw movies together, ate meals together, she even dragged him to childbirth classes when Danny couldn’t make it. He also happened to be the best damned babysitter in the whole city of Springfield.

  That aside, he and Austin supplied enough male influence to keep any impressionable boy well schooled in the ways of man. What could Derek offer their son besides a crash course in Heartbreak-101?

  “He brought baby food.”

  Melanie jumped out of her skin. How long had Rena been standing there? She never heard her enter, let alone unlock the door. “What?”

  The woman transferred an armful of peel-n-go containers into the open diaper bag on the floor. “Derek. He got supplies for the baby. This should be enough to hold the little guy while you’re here.”

  DJ sighed, gave a shaky stretch and went slack once again. Melanie gently lifted from the bed and glanced at the open door.

  “I wouldn’t.” Rena stood and the two women faced each other for a moment in wary silence.

  As if on cue, Derek’s four-legged prison guard ambled in from the hall, made a beeline for the bed and worked his nose just above the mattress. Satisfied with the results, he turned a few circles and plopped down beside the replenished diaper bag. Melanie’s first thought was that the dog was way too fond of her son. The second... it would simply have to go if she had any chance of escaping this isolated ruin.

  “Derek took you for a reason,” Rena said, recapturing her attention. “You can trust him.”

  “It’s hard to when I don’t know the reason.”

  “He’s protecting you. From the people who took him.”

  “So… he was taken? From the hospital?” Melanie took Rena’s silence as an affirmative. Finally! An answer that made sense! “By who?”

  Rena hesitated, choosing her words carefully. “By someone who is very powerful with a lot to lose.”

  Great. Like she hadn’t heard that line in every action flick Mac had dragged her to over the last two years. “Okay... What would they want from Derek? Or me, for that matter?”

  “I can’t tell you that. All I’ll say is he’s gone rogue despite their threats. They’
re pissed and Derek just wants to keep you from becoming collateral damage.”

  “Collateral–” Melanie leaned in, lowered her voice in order not to wake the baby. “Look. I like Schwarzenegger as much as the next girl, but as long as my son is involved, I’d rather you not sound so much like a movie trailer. I want the spoilers now.”

  “The only reason I’m talking is because I don’t agree with his decision to keep you out of the loop entirely. I think you need to be aware for DJ’s sake, but there are some things you’re better off not knowing. You’ll just have to trust me on that.”

  Had she just heard right? “There’s that T-word again,” Melanie ground out, her back effectively up. She glanced at her sleeping son, kept her voice low. “It was hard hearing it from Derek, but it’s downright laughable hearing it from you! The last time I saw you –”

  “Yeah, yeah, I got it.” With crossed arms, Rena took a defensive stance. “I’m the crazy bitch who shot at you and tried to kill your friends. The world isn’t perfect for any of us but when push comes to shove, the survivors are the ones who analyze, process, adapt, and advance.”

  With false bravado, Melanie crossed her arms as well. “Don’t tell me. Angelina Jolie?”

  Winged brows settled over probing eyes that were impossible to read. “I’m not a fan of wasting my breath.”

  “Then do us both a favor and don’t.”

  “I normally wouldn’t bother, but DJ is going to need you to be smart when that push comes to shove.”

  “And you’re saying I’d be smart to stay in my windowless cell behind lock and key like a good little hostage?”

  “When the ghosts come for you, you’ll want to be nowhere else.”

  Her words coupled with the spooky eyes delivered an effective dose of heebie-jeebies. Melanie bravely beat them down. “Again with the ghosts. You know… you’re good. You play lucid surprisingly well, but you’re still the same lunatic I remember.”

  Rena’s full mouth pursed with a shrewd smirk. “Am I, now?”

  A small sound by the open door stole Melanie’s attention for a brief second. When she glanced back, it was to find she was standing alone. A quick perusal of the room confirmed the woman she’d just been arguing with had simply vanished.